SCARED! I need help :/?

As some of you may know, I have had a severe fear of schizophrenia for about three months. After I had an initial panic attack, I told myself that the panic attack symptoms were schizophrenia, due to my naivety. So I started to research and I finally was able to say it was just anxiety. But, then I read somewhere that the beginning signs of schizophrenia could be anxiety, so I had another slew of panic attacks. Now it is just high anxiety and worries with the occasional anxiety attack. But, idk if it is just my ocd, my anxiety or if I am actually developing schizophrenia but I have become very, very withdrawn. I no longer workout, (used to 5x/week). I have had weird philosophical thoughts in which are hard to hold back. For instance, I had a thought the other day that I am still not able to let go of and I am pondering about endlessly, and that is, what if what we see, isn't what we see, and our brain is just playing a movie so-to-speak? I know this is irrational as hell but I can't drop it and it makes me wonder. I also keep wondering how we see, how our brain handles all of the stimuli. Also, I haven't been working out as I mentioned before and I am due to start college football in 3 WEEKS! I am so scared for college, petrified. How am I going to make it on my own with this anxiety/fear/possible schizophrenia? What if I have a psychotic break while at college? I am so scared. Also, my dad is dying back at home and my mom is a struggling alcoholic, neither in good health obviously. I am so scared to be on my own with all of this going on, I AM ABSOLUTELY PETRIFIED. I think my ocd might be making me convinced I have schizophrenia and making me resemble the negative symptoms. I am not depressed, but I am nowhere near happy, I never smile or have a genuinely happy moment. I never shave anymore. I hate mirrors for some reason. I get mild depresonalization and derealization I get pretty bad sometimes. I am also on 25 mg zoloft. Also, I am at my grandparents and I fear going back home bc that is where I had about 50 anxiety/panic attacks in the last 3 months. I AM A BASKET CASE! Also, I have a compulsion to post something like this on a forum somewhere almost daily, if I don't I feel so anxious and fear a psychotic break even more. Can anyone provide any advice? I know some are sick of me, but I have a dif. concern everyday. I am just 18 and I am under the impression that my life is over, I'm done. No family, no kids, no degree, no successful career, I am done (in my mind).